Show You the Light
by Baby Darth Dalloway
Summary: Lena and Kara have been together for several months, but Lena is perplexed as to why Kara has not let Lena touch her. It all comes to a head when Kara incidentally blurts something out after visiting her girlfriend at work, leading to a heart felt discussion of love and honesty. Canon, post- Mon-El, Supercorp, some angst but happy ending. For the demi community.
1. Chapter 1

Show You the Light

* * *

Hi Everyone! This is the first Supercorp fic I am writing of this nature and the last fic I will be writing before going on hiatus. I need to step away from the fandom, mostly because I need to focus all of my energies on finishing school and graduating (yay me!) but also because I am no longer watching/ supporting Supergirl until things on the show change (and no, not about the shipping wars y'all, the general problems of the show). Title is from the song of the same name.

But I digress. I'll leave a more extensive author's note at the end but this fic is special to me and I hope I did it justice, and I did the ace/ demi community justice in writing it. Thank you for reading. :)

DISCLAIMER: The feelings and intentions of this fic are NOT a representation of all ace/ demi experiences and should not be taken as such. Everyone has their own journey.

* * *

The night sky had fallen over National City, and Lena Luthor was perched at her desk, twiddling a pen around her hand as she zoned out for the umpteenth time that evening. It wasn't until a light knock at her door startled her that she was pulled from her reverie.

The door creaked open, and Lena straightened up, her assistant peeking in.

"Hi, Jess. Taking off?"

"I am, Miss Luthor. It's already seven. You should probably do the same," Jess said lightly, in a manner in which she both knew her place but also respectfully fussed over her workaholic boss.

Lena smiled, giving her a nod.

"I'll be out within the hour."

Jess smiled at her, waving goodbye before gently shutting the door behind her. Lena relaxed back into her chair, tossing her pen back on her desk, pulling her hair out of its tight bun. She ran her fingers through her locks as she stared out at the city, her mind running back to the events that took place earlier today in this very office…

 **Noon. L-Corp. CEO Lena Luthor's Office.**

 _Lena was in the midst of discussing a project with a French affiliate when her girlfriend of two months, Kara Danvers, strolled in. She smiled wide, holding up her hand for Kara to show she'd only be a minute, the blonde waving her off as she approached Lena's desk._

 _Lena took in Kara's appearance as the blonde bent over and started organizing lunch on her desk, her tight olive green pants hugging her hips, the dark blue button up tightly fitted to the toned body Lena knew was underneath. She licked her lips at the thought, the Luthor having been thoroughly frustrated lately._

 _The CEO said her goodbyes on the phone, and quietly placed the device back on its ringer, leaning back in her chair and taking in her girlfriend who was thoroughly immersed in her task. She had been thinking about Kara a lot lately because something peculiar had been going on while they had started seeing one another._

 _Kara Danvers hadn't let Lena… well… touch her._

 _It was interesting at first, considering Kara was the one who came to Lena those months ago. Lena had been working late in her office as usual when the young reporter busted in, claimed her mouth and took her on her desk. Lena's thighs clenched together as she thought of that night, the way Kara's strong arms wrapped around her, hands and mouth covering every inch of Lena's skin. It had been some of the best sex Lena had ever had, but it was odd. When Lena tried to reciprocate, Kara gently held her hands and just kissed her, brushing her off._

 _It had been nearly two months of this. At first, Lena wondered if Kara's ex fling, Mick, Mike, something, had been the cause, the Luthor immediately jumping to horrible conclusions and her fury amassing at the thought her Kara had been potentially hurt. When she broached the subject gently, she could tell Kara wasn't lying when she said nothing of that sort ever happened during their tryst._

 _Even still, Lena wasn't left with much else to go on. She'd seen Kara in her undergarments, and she knew there wasn't something physical that was different that Kara might be ashamed of (not that that would matter to Lena either). But the question of why Kara wasn't letting Lena be with her was starting to drive the Luthor a little a bonkers._

 _"Lena. Lena? Hey, Earth to Lena!"_

 _Lena blinked several times, her eyes refocusing on the sunny smile Kara was giving her, mirth shining in her eyes._

 _"Did you just space out while staring at me, Ms. Luthor?" she asked playfully, Lena's brain finally picking up speed, a smirk coming to her face along with a blush._

 _"What can I say Ms. Danvers? Thoughts of you tend to overwhelm me," she replied, trying to save face, happy a light blush reached Kara's cheeks as well._

 _She stood from her seat, smoothing down her tight black skirt and pushing up the sleeves of her white silk blouse, staring at her desk absentmindedly as she moved to Kara, missing the blonde's look. Lena moved to Kara gently kissing her cheek and placing a hand on her lower back, rubbing her softly as she observed the lunch spread Kara had brought, the girl always bringing enough for an army._

 _"I find it rather unfair you can eat so much without gaining a fraction of a pound," Lena muttered, grateful Kara had brought her a salad, the brunette often complaining she would gain 50lbs with the way Kara kept feeding her._

 _"Yea, I… gotta keep my strength up," Kara replied, and Lena's brow furrowed as she felt Kara tense next to her._

 _The Luthor turned, her face inches from Kara, eyes taking in each other's._

 _"You okay?" Lena asked, turning to give Kara more attention._

 _The blonde seemed to be the one zoning out this time, and Lena smiled, reaching up to pull Kara's glasses off. The blonde blinked, blushing at the gesture, Lena smiling lightly at her._

 _"Now who's the one staring?" Lena said with a smile, Kara blushing even more._

 _Lena scrunched her brow, wondering what was up with the girl, until Kara surged forward, bringing their lips together. Kara cupped Lena's cheeks, holding her in place as she pushed her into the desk, Lena startled by the need she felt from Kara. She gasped as Kara's thigh hit that spot, and before she knew it, she was sat atop her desk, clutching to Kara as the woman kissed her senseless._

 _Air started becoming a problem for Lena, but Kara could sense it, releasing her lips from her own, hands flittering over Lena's body, grabbing every inch of her she could as she kissed her jaw, her neck, anywhere exposed skin could be found._

 _"Kara," Lena gasped out, moving her body as close to the woman as possible, feeling a rush of arousal._

 _Kara made swift work, unbuttoning Lena's shirt until the brunette pushed her back gently, finishing the job as Kara took the hint and unzipped her skirt. Lena stepped out of it, her unbuttoned shirt and skirt-less bottom showing off the matching set of lingerie she was wearing that day._

 _Kara wrapped her arms around Lena's waist as Lena's arms encircled her neck, the pair's bodies so close together they were practically molded into one. Eventually, Kara started moving them to the floor, and Lena grinned as she realized it was going to be that kind of sex today._

 _The blonde pinned her wrists above her head, Lena wrapping her legs around Kara's abdomen as their tongues battled for dominance. It had been an interesting learning curve for Lena, the woman normally a complete top, having to learn to boss from the bottom. Still, Kara's submissive nature made it easy for Lena to direct her or ask for things, Kara's aggression seemingly from frustration, perhaps, as opposed to an urge to dominate or control her partner._

 _Lena moaned as Kara's strong hands gripped up and down her ribs and hips, Lena having informed Kara she didn't mind the bruising from her Kryptonian strength as long as she tried to keep her unbroken. Kara's mouth moved lower and lower, through the valley of her breasts, tongue dipping into Lena's navel as her strong hands moved to grip Lena's breasts firmly, the brunette throwing her head back as she moaned yet again._

 _"Fuck, Kara. Jess will hear me," Lena whispered, Kara smiling as she pulled Lena's panties off, wrapping her arms around Lena's legs and bringing her hands back to her breasts as she smiled, kissing Lena's inner thighs as she mumbled a reply._

 _"It's not my fault you're so noisy," she replied innocently, Lena chuckling as she placed her hands over Kara's hands, their fingers mingling, Lena gripping the blonde as her mouth finally reached her center, Kara's lips and tongue dancing slowly against Lena's core._

 _Lena's back arched into the touch, her breathing erratic as Kara's lip and tongue danced around her center, massaging and teasing her, building her up more and more._

 _"God, Kara," Lena let out in another breathy moan, squeezing Kara's hands more firmly, the blonde taking a hint and pulling Lena's hands to the floor, the pair interlacing their fingers and gripping each other firmly, Kara increasing her ministrations._

 _Lena's breathing was rapid, her heart racing, and as Kara hit that spot again and again, she clenched her thighs around the woman's head, gripping onto her hands for dear life as she felt her body build and release, head thrown back and body stiff as she felt wave after wave of pleasure hit her._

 _Lena bit her lip throughout, keeping her moans muffled, finally releasing her swollen lower lip and relaxing into the floor as she let herself breathe, Kara kissing her everywhere below. The brunette loved how she provided aftercare every time they were together, in the simplest and sweetest of gestures._

 _She felt Kara smiling against her thighs, and she reached to tug Kara up and towards her. The blonde acquiesced, moving up her body and smiling wide as she lay on top of Lena, kissing her soundly. The CEO cupped her cheeks, softly and slowly moving their lips together, knowing that, while Kara hadn't let her touch her yet, the blonde hummed with joy whenever they made out like this._

 _Kara was kissing her, and was caught up in the moment, and as their lips pulled away briefly, she blurted out exactly what she was thinking._

 _"Rao, I love you."_

 _Lena froze under Kara, and it wasn't until Kara opened her eyes to look down at Lena, her mind catching up with her mouth, that her eyes went wide and she began stuttering in horror._

 _"Kara-"_

 _"I-I," Kara bolted off of Lena, the brunette startled by the sudden move, and in normal circumstances with a human, she would have been quick enough to stop a person from bolting out of her office._

 _However, this was Kara Danvers, aka Supergirl, and by the time Lena was standing, Kara was long gone from the building…._

 **Present Time…**

Lena had barely gotten any work done that day because she couldn't for the life of her put everything together. For someone with a genius level IQ, who was also a chess mastermind, she couldn't connect the dots.

Why was Kara keeping her at arm's length? Why had she just bolted? Did she really love Lena? Was Lena not enough for her?

All of these types of thoughts swarmed through Lena's mind. She had tried calling Kara twice, but she knew if the blonde wanted to talk, she would have reached out already.

Lena glanced at her watch, the time nearly 8pm. She shook her head and decided enough was enough. She was going to confront Kara and see what was troubling the younger girl, and what the hell had caused her to leave so abruptly.

* * *

The drive to Kara's apartment had been short, and Lena's made her way into Kara's building without sparing a moment of hesitation. She opted to wear her extra pair of flats, hoping Kara wouldn't bolt if she didn't hear the rhythmic sound of her heels clacking throughout the building. Still, she knew the woman could tell her heartbeat apart from others, and hoped whatever was troubling her girlfriend was enough to distract her from bolting once Lena got there.

Once the elevator opened, she made haste and reached Kara's door, ready to gently knock when she heard light crying on the other side. Lena's heart sank, her mind running a mile minute, trying to understand what the hell the woman she too loved was holding back from her.

Lena knocked lightly, biting her lip.

"Kara… I know you're in there, and I… I want to talk," Lena started, listening for any whooshing or barking from Kara's recently adopted puppy Krypto.

Lena took the lack of sound as a good sign, taking a deep breath and pushing on.

"I don't know what's been troubling you. I know you've been holding back, but… what you said today? I want you to know I feel the same. I have for a long time now. Whatever it is you feel like you can't share with me, I promise I'm here for you. I'm here to listen, so…."

Lena bit her lip again nervously. Words, feelings, love declarations? None of these things were her gig. She didn't want to pressure Kara, and she gently placed a hand on the door, her heart aching at the separation.

"Okay, well… when you're ready to talk to me, I'll be here," Lena said, waiting another moment.

They both knew Lena had a key and could enter at any time, but Lena, as confrontational as she could be, had learned a gentle approach was best when dealing with a sweet yet stubborn Kryptonian. She'd only be forceful if push came to shove, but a little patience right now could go a long way, and so she relented.

Lena sighed, pushing off the door, and as she nearly stepped away, she heard a whoosh, a door unlocking, and another whoosh, Krypto barking behind the door that was now left slightly open. Lena smiled, releasing a breath and striding into the studio, looking deep into it to see a bundle of blankets wrapped up on the couch.

Krypto came barreling towards her, and Lena braced herself as the puppy, though pint sized, nearly toppled her over.

"Hey boy. Good boy," Lena whispered, picking him up, the dog panting happily as she carried him back in.

She threw her purse on Kara's table, ditching her coat and shoes too, walking over to the couch. Lena smiled as she saw Kara's go to cry movie on the television, which generally meant she was trying to purge herself of some sad feelings. Lena leaned over, holding Krypto over Kara's head, the dog now licking and attacking Kara, the blonde protesting lightly, in between giggles.

Lena chuckled as she released the dog, Kara twisting and coming out of her cocoon, smiling at the puppy who panted happily on her stomach, tongue out.

"I still can't believe Kal gave you that puppy," Lena murmured, sitting on the couch next to Kara's thighs, the blonde sitting up.

"I think he realized I needed this piece of home more than he did," Kara whispered softly, scratching behind Krypto's ears, Lena reaching over to pat him.

Lena let the silence take over for a bit, Kara finally sitting up fully on the couch, the blanket securely around her, Krypto in her lap, safety and security surrounding her. Lena noticed the gap between them and could tell that, whatever was bothering Kara, it was clear she was scared. Of rejection, an angry response, Lena didn't know what, but still. There, in the space between them, she could sense the fear lingering.

"Before you say anything Kara, I… you know I'm not very good at any of this. I never really have been, wasn't given the chance to be, until now that is, but… I love you too. I've been falling in love with you slowly, since that very first time I met you, so…" Lena drifted off, bringing her knees under her, turning to look at Kara softly.

"Whatever it is, I'm here. We can get through it. I know it seems scary, but I do love you. I'm crazy in love with you," Lena finished with a small smile, using a soft tone, trying to ease her lover's tension.

Kara bit her lip, nodding slowly, wiping tears from her eyes. She kept looking to Krypto, petting the now calm dog softly, and Lena wondered if he was help keeping her in place.

"You remember how I was with Mon-El?" Kara started slowly, Lena nodding.

"Mhmm."

"He… he wasn't my first. I've been with a few guys since I came to Earth, in college and after. It was really hard coming to Earth because the customs here are… different."

"Go on," Lena whispered encouragingly.

Kara closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to gather everything she knew and wanted to say.

"After I broke things off with Mon-El, I ended up drinking with Maggie one night, and we started talking about sex and sexuality and everything. Maggie knows so much about it, and I just never really paid attention. On Krypton, it didn't matter who you were attracted to, that was never the problem. It was more classist, I guess, but…

"Anyway, I told Maggie how when I came to Earth, I felt like I had to find a boy and just be with someone. And I met boys, and girls too, who were nice. I'd sleep with them, but every time I have, I just… it's never felt… _good_."

Lena's brow furrowed as she listened closely.

"So you're saying that, every time you've slept with someone… you haven't liked it."

Kara bit her lip, nodding slowly, tears coming out.

"I thought maybe I would. Or I sort of liked them, and I flirted, and they were attractive but every time I just… nothing came from it. I'm not really attracted, and because of that, no one's ever made me, um, well…"

Kara's face was beet red as she gestured with her hands, Lena taking mercy on her and grabbing one gently, nodding slowly.

"You've never felt pleasure from another person before," Lena finished, and Kara blinked, nodding quickly.

"When Maggie and I had that talk, I thought maybe, maybe I was asexual, but… I mean I do things, to myself, and I do… I've felt attractions slightly, but… I just never met anyone who really, who I was really attracted to and who the thought of being with them, and the thought of them touching me, I feel so deeply aroused, and…

Kara drifted off again, biting her lip, turning to Lena.

"When we became closer as friends, and then more, I knew I wanted to taste you and hold you and kiss you… but I wasn't ready for you to touch me. And I was scared because at first, I didn't know if I'd ever be okay with you touching me like that. Everyone I've been with, the guys, I mean they don't really care if you… you know… or not. So it's never been an issue. But I knew it would be different for you.

"So about a month ago when I spoke to Maggie about it again, she told me there was a whole spectrum, and… have you ever heard of, um, demisexual?"

Lena shook her head, inching closer.

"No, I'm afraid I haven't. Explain?" she coaxed gently, Kara nodding.

"Well, it… it's a part of the asexual spectrum, and demi means half-"

"Like demi-god?"

"Yes, right, exactly," Kara said with a smile, nodding, Lena smiling and happy to see a bit of her sunshine sparkle in there.

"Anyway, it's a label for people who don't experience sexual attraction unless they have a deep emotional connection or friendship or trust established with another person first. So, for demisexuals it's rarer to experience a real attraction to somebody, it often takes a long time. And when Maggie and I talked about it, it's just… it's like everything in my life fell into place."

Lena took a deep breath, nodding slowly, a part of her feeling some worry as she wondered if her fears were correct, if she was in fact not enough for Kara.

"So… you've discovered that this label, this identity, it's what you feel or rather, it's who you are?" Lena asked gently, hand still squeezing Kara's reassuringly.

Kara took a deep breath, nodding quickly and looking away, more tears coming out.

"I just… when I came to Earth, I tried so hard to fit in. I liked people, and I guess I just thought when you like someone like a friend, it becomes more and that platonic feeling is all there was to love. James was a good guy, and then when Mon-El came around, he was there at least, and… I didn't know. I didn't know what real attraction and desire felt like. I just went through the motions of sex, and didn't think anything of not getting anything out of it. I just took it as some fun, I guess, but…"

Kara looked to Lena.

"After Mon-El, after starting to see you, and having all of these feelings, and then speaking to Maggie, everything just clicked. I've never been so deeply attracted to someone as… as I have _you_ , but… I didn't know if I would feel this way or not. And our friendship grew closer, and then I started, you know, with you, and I…"

Kara exhaled shakily and Lena leaned forward, brushing tears and hair out of her face.

"I've never felt like this for anybody, and now I know what everyone else feels like when they say they're attracted to someone. It feels almost carnal, and I want to do that with you, and let you be with me, but… even though I've had sex before, I don't… I don't know how to do, well, _that_."

Lena let out her own long breath, nodding slowly, beating herself up internally for feeling so relieved Kara did feel something for her, but also still grateful. She wiped more tears from Kara's face.

"You remember how you gave me that book I wanted ages ago, Milk and Honey?"

"Yea, that little poetry book," Kara asked as she sniffled slightly, Lena nodding quickly.

"There's a great short poem in it, and it went; 'I've had sex, she said. But I don't know what making love feels like," Lena replied, Kara taking a deep breath and smiling to herself, Lena leaning closer.

"I understand you've had experiences with other people, but that this time, this feels very new and different to you, and it's scary," Lena whispered, Kara looking at her, tears still blinking out in spurts.

"I've never felt like this before, it's like an ache in my stomach. I want to be with you, but I'm… I'm really nervous, Lena," Kara said, and at that point, Lena pushed forward, wrapping her arms over Kara's shoulders and pulling her in closely.

"Hey, hey… we can take things slowly. Just because we've been, or well, you've been fooling around with me, we can wait a while Kara. Not everything needs to happen at once. It's okay."

"I just felt so stupid because it's not like I haven't been with people in that way, or that I haven't done things to you. It's… how do you explain the difference between acting things out without feeling and then doing things when you really do feel it?"

Lena nodded against her as Kara sobbed some more, and Lena brushed her hair gently.

"This may be a bad comparison, but… there are many couples in this world, straight, gay, you name it. They go through the motions and actions of sex, but they don't actually feel attraction or truly get aroused or get anything out of it. What I mean to say is, I know what you're trying to explain. There's a difference between having sex with someone, and having sex with true attraction, desire, and arousal in place. You're not crazy Kara. It makes perfect sense to me."

Kara nodded into Lena's chest, the brunette smiling softly.

"When I was on Krypton, my father… he tried teaching me how to ride one of our… it's like a bike on Earth, but hovers?"

"Go on."

"My father and I got on well, but I was always more sensitive than my parents. They wanted me to be tough like them, but I just couldn't be. So when my father tried to teach me to balance so I could ride, I cried and gave up. He just didn't know how to communicate with me."

"Did you ever learn?" Lena asked softly, Kara nodding into her chest.

"Jor-El, Kal's dad? He was always gentle. And one day he saw me sitting outside as kids went flying around. He came up to me, nodded for me to come along and brought me to his house. He set it up for me, and he was so gentle. I was nervous, scared to disappoint him, but he just shook his head calmly. As he supported the craft, I didn't even realize when he let go and I was doing it on my own. He was so patient and gentle… he just, got me."

Lena nodded and Kara pulled back from her chest, gently taking Lena's hands and holding them in her own.

"People call me the girl of steel, but… I need gentle hands, Lena. I'm not… I'm not like my parents."

Lena immediately reached to cup Kara's face, thumbs brushing away tears and stroking her fondly, pouring all the love she could muster into her gaze. She leaned towards Kara, their lips grazing each other, the slightest and most innocent of touches, Kara gasping at the gesture.

Lena moved to settle on Kara's lap, knowing the blonde was a cuddler and loved close contact. Kara wrapped her arms around Lena's waist as they kissed slowly, Lena trying to reassure and calm Kara. When she pulled back, she leaned her forehead against Kara's.

"To be honest, I was getting worried. I had noticed what you were doing. Just know Kara, there's nothing you need to worry about keeping from me. I'm here for you. I love you too."

Kara face and neck were flushed and Lena kissed her softly once more, getting up from Kara's lap, the blonde blinking at her with big eyes like a lost puppy. Lena smiled softly, going to Kara room and stealing a sweatshirt and sweatpants, changing into comfy clothes before coming back out, Kara smiling at the action.

Lena pulled the blanket off the blonde gesturing for her to move so she could lie on her back, Kara instantly moving to lie on top of Lena, arms circling under her back, the brunette kissing the top of her head fondly and playing with Kara's hair.

The blonde reached out to play the movie, Lena smiling into her hair. The pair fell into a pile of chuckles when Krypto jumped and landed on Kara's butt, stomping around till he felt comfy enough to sit and lay. The trio sat in comfortable silence, everything finally right in the world.

FIN

* * *

So, where to start… I guess I'll make this brief (but anyone who reads my crap knows brevity is not my strong suit).

This fic is personal to me. As I've been elaborating slightly on tumblr, demisexuality is something I only learned about several months ago, and is something that made the rest of my life and personal journey click into place and make sense. I won't bore you with personal details, but if this fic helped anyone or resonated with anyone, then that's awesome. You're not alone. :)

As for Supercorp, damn, every time I get a new OTP, another one outshines it. I love Kara Danvers, I love Lena Luthor, and the reason I'm signing off of Supergirl is because, as was discussed at Clexacon, I just don't want to support a show where I feel they have taken the protagonist and overall trajectory of the show in the wrong direction.

It's not about ship wars, I've shipped plenty of non-canon pairings or pairings that were killed off or never allowed to be established over the years. For me, I've personally noticed a distinct difference in the writing style and intentions of the producers/ network that I feel go directly against what the show's initial intentions were. And that's just where I stand on the matter. I'll be watching the episode tonight to see how things play out with Cadmus, but after that I'll be signing off and focusing on other things. I may come back to write and finish up Supercorp fics I started this summer when I complete my thesis, but as for the show, letting it slide for now. May better things come in future seasons.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Until next time.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

* * *

This was going to be a stand-alone piece, but I thought it fit in nicely here…

The author's notes at the bottom were originally written here, but those are about my opinions and ranting and you do NOT need that at the start. Feel free to read at the bottom IF you should so desire, but I honestly do notttt blame you if you don't, haha!

I was going to make this into another fic entirely, but I decided to continue within the context of this story as it pertains to similar issues of demisexuality/ sexual experiences I intended to write for a demisexual Kara character. I personally have combatted issues with anxiety/ depression, though I have been lucky to have access to excellent resources throughout the entirety my life. My anxiety has never risen to the level of a panic attack, and so this writing comes from research, not personal experience. I've suffered certain other traumas in my life and have had a small handful of issues with PTSD, which seem slightly relatable, but a full-blown panic attack has yet to arise for me… though I'm definitely nervous I will have one in the future. :)

So! This fic certainly has that fear in there… Thanks for reading/ commenting. And AGAIN, I do NOT speak for an entire community, whether that's the demisexual community, ace community, PTSD community, anxiety, depression or general mental illness/ health community. I'm just a tiny slice in a large pie, lol.

Thank you if you made it this far! Hope you enjoy the angst. Also, let me know if you guys want something fluffier and less angsty… I really need to cool it on the angst…. And the rambling in all my notes. Here we go!

* * *

As Kara panted above Lena, the brunette's long fingers gently scratching and toying with the hairs at the base of her neck, the numbing sensation began to tingle and move slowly from the tips of her fingers and toes and into her body. The heels of Lena's feet were lightly dug into the back of her legs, the brunette's arm wrapped loosely around her lower back, Kara's face burrowed into Lena's shoulder and neck, body covered in sweat and dripping from her face onto her girlfriend's pale and milky skin.

She could feel Lena panting and breathing heavily along with her, and the cold air drifting across her sweaty back, along with the strumming of Lena's fingers, were sending chills throughout Kara's body, only making the tingling more pronounced, and the subtle tightening in her chest now noticeable.

Lena gently kissed the side of her head.

"That was amazing," she whispered quietly, mouth on Kara's ear, another chill running along her spine, her breathing only increasing as opposed to Lena's which was beginning to calm.

Kara wasn't sure what was happening.

The feeldoe that was buried in Lena was also hooked into her, the couple having a slow and long lovemaking session as opposed to more of the rough, fun and dirty play they had been up to as of late. It was only two months ago that Kara fled Lena's office in a panic, unsure of herself and sorting through some of the facets of her personality and overall sexuality. But Lena had taken everything in stride; they were able to easily and slowly navigate the beginnings of Kara's sexual exploration in an intimate and reciprocal manner.

Kara felt infinitely lucky to have such a patient and understanding lover in Lena, the woman having not complained or seemed frustrated at all as the couple spent the past few weeks adventuring more deeply into their sex lives together. Lena made it simple by letting Kara know it would be a slow process, and they just had to keep it light, fun, and to laugh at themselves. Lena was a realist, and knew it may be touch and go, hit or miss, a process full of awkwardness and stumbling along the way for Kara, but that didn't mean there needed to be shame. It would take time, but it would all be okay.

By taking things lightly, going slowly, and acting patiently, Kara had experienced her first orgasm from another party with Lena, and from there, Kara had slowly grown more and more enthusiastic and joyful. Lena kept things playful, their sexual encounters often fun and flirty, but tonight's encounter had been different.

After a rather long and scary fight with another metahuman the day prior, Kara returned to Lena's apartment craving the brunette and missing her with all of her might, Lena just as fiercely concerned and worried for her lover. With dinner and private time, tears spilled and fears confessed, it lead into a heated makeout session which then lead straight to Lena's bed. While Lena was more than enthused for them to make love rather than the more playful stuff, she had forgotten that for Kara, this was another new step.

And so, as Lena basked in the afterglow of the slow thrusting, gestures, touches, kisses and build that brought her to new heights, she was oblivious to the woman devolving into a panic right on top of her.

Lena moved slightly, wrapping both arms tightly around Kara's back now, kissing the side of her head more firmly. As she realized Kara hadn't spoken, she nuzzled the woman's hair with her nose, and finally began to hear the rapid breathing, which was taking place on top of her.

"Kara?"

For her part, Kara tried to take a deeper breath, pushing herself up onto her elbows. However, the more her mind tried to think quickly, the more her body began feeling out of control.

"Kara?" Lena asked again, moving to pull the blonde's hair back, watching as Kara's hand rapidly went to her chest, digging in and gripping firmly.

Lena's brow furrowed deeply, and Kara began pulling away, extricating herself from Lena, pulling the toy from Lena and then herself, tossing it away as she sat up on the bed and leaned over. Lena watched, sitting up and moving closer as Kara tried to stand, the blonde quickly falling to the floor on her hands and knees.

"Kara!"

The blonde could hear muffled sounds, her vision felt cloudy around the edges, and she tried to catch her breath, but the numbness had taken over her legs and tingled in her arms now. Clutching her chest, fingers bruising her skin as she felt the odd cold pressure now pressing against her heart.

Lena got on the floor with her, quickly going to her neck, feeling Kara's pulse running rapidly, the scientist's mind in Lena churning, her brief emergency training leading her to wonder if Kara could possibly be having a heart attack.

"I'm going to call Alex-"

"D-Don't… don't leave," Kara barely got out, and Lena knelt there briefly stunned.

She observed Kara quickly, her posture, the breathing, the communication, and she fast put together the likelihood of her young, healthy and spry lover having a heart attack was minimal… however, the likelihood of a panic attack?

That was, well… given Supergirl's line of work? Inevitable.

Lena nodded, entirely to herself, placing a hand on Kara's shoulder as she reached up on the bed for her fluffy comforter, bringing it to the floor. She wrapped it over Kara, tugging the woman's upper body towards her. Lena sat her back against the bed, situating a panicking and hyperventilating Kara so she was sitting in her lap, head against her chest.

She wrapped her arm around Kara's back and shoulders, her other hand cupping Kara's cheek.

"Kara, sweetie. Try to listen to my heartbeat. I'm going to cup your ear to block out the sound. Try and listen, listen to my heart, listen to the thumps."

Lena moved her hand to cup Kara's exposed ear, attempting to minimize some of the outside noises her super hearing was likely to pick up. The blonde was still breathing rapidly, and Lena knew a panic attack could last anywhere from a few minutes to as long as twenty, and could even relapse and last longer.

She tugged Kara closer, pressing her into her chest.

"Listen to my heart, focus on my lungs. Listen as they expand, and as they release. Try and breathe with me when you can baby. Try slowly," she said calmly.

She knew it was almost pointless to try and force a person in the midst of an attack to control her breathing, but she hoped a little nudging or mentioning of her heart and lungs would trigger Kara, and the blonde could focus in time.

Lena felt a wetness developing over her sternum, Kara likely crying as she tried to get through the moment. The blonde had never felt anything like this before, trying to breathe, her chest crushing, her legs limp, and this impending feeling of dread, as if she was hyper exposed, all looming over her.

"Shh. It's okay. You're safe Kara. You're safe. Take your time," Lena whispered reassuringly, trying to be as supportive and helpful as she could without being overbearing.

Kara hiccupped, moving closer into Lena, burrowing into her. She tried honing her senses, much like she had to as a child when she first arrived on Earth. She closed her eyes, not letting sight bother her, and inhaled deeply, breathing in Lena's scent, moving her nose to brush against Lena's chest.

She reached a hand up to interlace her fingers with the ones Lena had planted on the side of her head, helping to block out the noise. She wished she had the special, super noise cancelling, ear buds Lena had developed and made for her as a gift, but she stuck to trying to focus on Lena's heart. She then diverted her attention to Lena's lungs; listening to the sound of air working it's way in and out of her girlfriend slowly. She struggled to catch her breath, but focused only on that sound, trying to match her breathing to Lena's.

"That's it baby. That's it," Lena encouraged, keeping her hold tight around Kara.

The blonde felt Lena's body, felt her warmth, tried to feel the sensation creeping back into her arms, her legs still tingling. She stopped focusing on them, not wanting to devolve further into the fear, moving into Lena again. Her muscles clenched, and Lena held her close, planting her mouth and nose on Kara's head, trying to embody comfort and support.

Lena watched the time tick away on the clock on her nightstand. She could feel the tension leave Kara's body, albeit slowly. Every minute felt like 10 as she watched the numbers count up. The seconds ticked by, and Kara began to feel the sensation in her limbs again, her hand able to loosen its grip against her chest. As they approached the 15-minute mark, her breathing was in sync with Lena's, the tension in her muscles fading, but she wasn't ready to move yet.

Kara tucked her legs closer, bringing her knees in, planting her feet on the ground, adjusting the comforter around herself with Lena's help. The brunette kept her snug against her, knowing the panic attack could easily be retriggered and could repeat a cycle of successions. She waited patiently, wanting Kara to fully calm down before she attempted to jostle or move the other woman.

"You're doing great baby," she whispered, planting a kiss on top of Kara's head, letting Kara know she was still with her, the blonde exhaling shakily.

As Kara started feeling more like herself, the tears poured out even more. Where in the hell had that come from? She didn't understand, and the warrior in her, the Supergirl, brought on feelings of shame and doubt. She was a sobbing mess on top of her girlfriend, and Kara's embarrassment was at an all time high.

She wasn't sure what to do. She didn't want to move, but she knew she couldn't stay in Lena's arms forever, yet the safety they provided was so addicting she didn't have the courage to move either.

Lena's mind was racing too. Was it PTSD? Was it something she did while they were intimate? Lena was at a loss and only wanted to make Kara feel better.

"C-Can you get Alex please?" Kara whispered out.

She wanted her big sister right now. Her big sister would make everything better, and she could stop burdening Lena with all of her problems and issues. Lena pressed her lips to the top of her head again, nodding against it, letting Kara know it would be done. Lena had to move and reach up to grab her phone from the nightstand, Kara moving to give her room and settling right back against her as Lena moved back down, dialing the formidable Agent Danvers.

"Mmph, 'ello?"

"Alex, it's Lena," the brunette said softly, tugging Kara close when she felt the blonde tense.

"What's going on?" the Agent sleepily replied, Lena calling her personal line, the Agent not in full focus as her work ringtone was not the one rousing her from slumber.

"Can you come over?" Lena asked gently, glancing back to her clock, the time nearing midnight.

"What time is it?" Alex asked, Lena hearing the sheets rustling on the other end and a groaning Maggie Sawyer.

"It's nearly midnight. I'm sorry to call, but Kara needs you."

It's as if the mention of Kara triggered an alarm, and stumbling and frantic movement could be heard on the other end of the phone.

"Kara? What happened? My DEO phone didn't go off. Is she hurt? Where-"

"Alex, Alex, slow down, she's here at the penthouse with me. It's not… it's not Supergirl related," Lena said, attempting to phrase her wording appropriately.

"Not?... what's going on? Is she okay?"

"She's… Kara's here with me right now. She's okay, just… I'll explain when you're here," Lena said with finality, Alex's mind now running a mile a minute.

The older Danvers sister just muttered her okay before ending the call, Lena going to slowly text one-handedly some details as the woman made her way over to her place.

* * *

Alex entered the Luthor penthouse quietly, Maggie close on her tail. Had Lena texted more quickly, she probably would have opted to leave Maggie at home, not sure how this would play out with her sister having just suffered something entirely new and foreign to the both of them.

"Hey Lena! We're here!" Alex called out, Maggie giving her a nod and making herself comfortable on Lena's leather couch.

"In here!" the brunette shouted back, still holding Kara, squeezing her gently.

"Hunny, I'm just going to grab my robe," she said, Kara nodding, much more with it than she was even just ten minutes ago.

"Can you grab my sweatshirt… and sweatpants?" the Kryptonian asked softly, Lena nodding as she moved around her large and spacious room, digging out some of the clothes from Kara's designated drawers.

She tossed them over and Kara quickly put everything on, wrapping herself in the blanket once again as Lena tossed a robe around herself, just in time before Agent Danvers gently knocked.

"All clear?"

"Sure, come on in," Lena called back, making her way back around the room as Alex entered.

She immediately saw Kara curled in upon herself leaning against Lena's bed, head on her knees. Lena walked over, giving Alex a small smile. She gripped the woman's arms gently, and took her exit. Lena knew if Kara had wanted her present or wanted her to comfort her, she wouldn't have requested her sister's presence. As much as she wanted to stay and help the woman she loved, she swallowed her pride and accepted Kara's wish, gently closing the door behind her as she left.

Alex took one look at her baby sis and moved to sit next to her on the floor, throwing an arm over her shoulders and drawing her in, rubbing her head fondly.

"Hey kid," she whispered, with a tired but happy smile on her face.

"Hey," Kara replied, finally lifting her head, taking a deep breath and letting herself relax on Alex's shoulder.

Alex held her close for a moment, giving Kara time to breathe and adjust.

"Lena texted me a little bit on the way over. She thinks you had a panic attack," Alex began Kara releasing a deep breath.

"I've never… I've never experienced anything like that before Al," Kara said, staring at the door, the sensations she recalled from earlier feeling almost like a dream.

She wasn't exactly sure what triggered it. She remembered sitting on Lena's couch earlier in the evening, the duo pouring their souls out to one another after Kara's latest brush with a formidable foe. Lena of course voiced her worries, but understanding as well, and before they knew it, they were locking lips in a heated kiss that soon turned into more.

Kara remembered wanting to feel closer to Lena, wanting her hands free, wanting to feel everything. She enjoyed the thought of burying herself in Lena, the brunette's bossy nature able to control and direct while underneath her.

She loved the sensations as her body melded into Lena, no space between, their lips slowly teasing in a dance for dominance as Kara moved her hips in time with Lena's.

There was something about it all, the exposure, the emotions… maybe it was the PTSD from the fight, or any fight really. Maybe it was her abandonment issues, those nagging voices in the back of her mind gnawing at her sanity and soul, teasing her with the prospect of being alone forever.

Though she had been slowly giving herself to Lena, though she made progress, it was such an intense and serious experience where her fears about losing Lena came to light, the fear that they couldn't remain together. Never had she loved anyone before like she had her green-eyed goddess, and the empty pit that would be created at the thought of losing her weighed heavily on her mind.

"Lena… look, I know this is awkward, but… she mentioned you guys were being… intimate. Can you recall what triggered it?" Alex asked gently.

She wasn't just Kara's sister, but her guardian, her doctor. Supergirl had never experienced a panic attack like this, but Alex knew Kara. She knew her history, knew what the transition from Krypton to Earth was like. She knew Kara put on a happy and brave face and tried to let most things slide, but everyone had a breaking point.

Kara had lost so, SO, much in her short time alive. The loss of Krypton, her race, her home, her culture and parents? She lost her future there, lost the people who understood her and her existence. And then coming to Earth, Kara stayed in the shadows, and was forced to hide who she was, forced to keep herself down. She lost her adoptive father, found a cousin who was nothing like the society he came from. Kara had her heart broken, had to lie about who and what she was, and then as Supergirl, she lost her aunt, her people all over again, and continuously found herself facing extraordinary circumstances and obstacles that no one should have to go through.

In conclusion, Alex Danvers knew Kara. She knew her well, and she knew that it would only be a matter of time before something had to give. Granted, she wasn't expecting the floodgates to open quite like this, she knew Kara was going to have to face the demons, the insecurities and the fears she tried so desperately to bury.

"I'm not sure, Alex," Kara eventually replied, more tears streaming down her face, signaling for Alex to pull her in more tightly.

"What do you want to do?" Alex asked lightly.

"Honestly… I just want to go home," she said tiredly, Kara feeling utterly embarrassed and humiliated by everything that had transpired this evening.

Alex frowned, wondering why her sister would want to leave the safety of Lena's space, which was practically Kara's this point.

"Are you sure? You don't want to stay-"

"I'm positive. I just… I just need to be home," Kara stated, Alex taking a deep breath.

"Okay…" Alex relented, going to stand and helping her sister up.

The Danvers sisters slowly made their way out and into the common area, Lena watching Maggie as Krypto pinned and licked all over the smaller woman's face, the puppy let out of his big cage since company had come over.

Lena looked up as she saw the pair walking out, her smile faltering as she noticed Kara averting her gaze.

"Hey, I'm going to take Kara home," Alex began, putting a hand on Kara's shoulder and squeezing lightly, Maggie sitting up with a big smile and observing the scene, Krypto now running to circle around Alex and Kara's feet.

"Home…" Lena said more than asked, Alex giving her a small smile and a brief wink, trying to signal all was okay.

"Feeling better Little Danvers?" Maggie broached, walking over to the group, Krypto bouncing around between all of them.

"I'm fine," she said, pulling her hair into a ponytail, looking around for her glasses.

As if on cue, Lena pulled them from her robe pocket, dangling them out for Kara to take, the blonde finally forced to make some eye contact. Lena was worried now, thinking she had handled things well, confused as to why her girlfriend was feeling the need to go be alone rather than here with her. She walked over to hand them to Kara.

"Thanks," Kara said in a whisper, forced, trying to hold her emotions at bay.

"Of course," Lena replied, Alex and Maggie shooting one another glances at the awkward exchange.

Lena took a step back, Kara brushing right by and Alex watching her in confusion, Maggie taking the hint and nodding to Lena, quickly following the youngest Danvers sister. Alex turned to face Lena.

"I think she's embarrassed," Alex started, Lena frowning in concern and hurt, watching her front door shut.

"She shouldn't feel that way around me… she should know I don't- I would never judge her for something like that," Lena said, Alex watching the rare display of Lena's emotions flaring up in front of someone who was not Kara.

"Hey," Alex said, walking over and placing a hand on the CEO's shoulders now.

"This is new for Kara. Panic attacks aren't easy-"

"I'm aware," Lena interrupted, crossing her arms, her cold stare in place as she gazed back to Alex.

Alex just smirked, knowing that, just like her sister, this woman was trying so hard to bury her feelings deep under the surface.

"It's not you Lena. It's nothing you did, and she's not running from you."

"Then how come every time something happens with us, her first instinct is to run as fast as she can from me? Hm?' Lena said, a few tears leaking out.

She had tried being patient, was attempting to be the best girlfriend she could, but it seemed like every time an obstacle arose for the couple, Kara was running as far from her as humanly, or alien-ly, possible.

"Tell me, did she ever runaway from her boyfriends in the past?" Lena asked, eyebrow rising as she gazed at Alex, the older woman looking at her fondly.

"She's an avoider Lena. With James, she avoided and hid, and then it just died off. With Mon-El-"

Lena groaned and rolled her eyes.

"She ran at the first sign of trouble. I'm not making excuses or saying it's okay, but it's not just you. She… she's scared, plain and simple. She's had a lot to lose."

Lena clenched her jaw, nostrils flaring, as she gazed back at Alex.

"Tell me, if I were the one running at every twist and turn, what would you tell your sister to do?"

Alex blinked, pulling back, taking a deep breath.

"Honestly? If you had asked me a few months ago, I would have told her to leave it."

"And you expect me to just think it's fine that she doesn't trust me enough, that she always runs away? Haven't I had loss and pain too?"

Alex smirked.

"That was if it was a few months ago Lena. Now? That I've seen you both together? I'd tell her to keep chasing you down until you finally knew how much she really cares."

Lena let more tears out, shaking her head.

"She's not the only one in our relationship with abandonment issues, Agent Danvers," Lena replied, attempting to be cold but Alex only seeing the pain and loneliness in the woman's eyes.

"I know. I'm not trying to make excuses for her Lena, but… it is hard. And this, this running business… I knew it was a matter of time, but I also know it's not forever. You just have to trust and believe in that too."

Lena finally gazed back to Alex, and after a moment's pause, she nodded quickly, letting the Agent know she had been heard. Alex uncharacteristically pulled Lena into a hug, unbeknownst to her sister and her girlfriend, that she already considered Lena family and was likely the woman her sister would be with forever.

Lena was stiff at first, but eventually relaxed into the hold, the pair jumping as Krypto barked, both oblivious to the fact the dog was still here.

"Oh, um," Alex began as she pulled away, Lena waving her off.

"He can stay, he's here enough. Plus it… it will make me feel better honestly," Lena said, Alex smiling back at her.

"Buck up Luthor. I expected more from you," Alex joked, the CEO rolling her beautiful green eyes, and giving back a glare with a smirk.

"Watch it Danvers, unless you want to face further humiliation at game night next week."

"Ah! And she's back," Alex joked, patting Lena once more, the pair chuckling as Lena showed Alex out.

"Let me know if anything else happens, please?" Lena asked as she stood at the door, picking up Krypto and snuggling him to her chest.

"Roger that. Get some sleep Luthor, you look like hell."

"Not as badly as you do Danvers," Lena replied smugly, Alex rolling her eyes.

"Impossible."

* * *

It had been two days since the night Kara spent at Lena's place. Maggie had insisted Alex go stay with her sister, and Kara was grateful the older Danvers accompanied her home. They snuggled and watched movies, falling asleep and skipping work the next day as Alex spent time with Kara.

They had continued their time watching movies, sitting around on the couch and relaxing, and by the afternoon of that day, Kara began opening up about the panic attack to Alex and describing what she went through.

Alex Danvers, the ever-supportive sister, friend, doctor, comrade in arms, took everything in stride and was able to help Kara work through some of the issues at hand. They stayed up most of that night as well, sleeping in and grateful it was finally the weekend so they didn't have to miss another day of work.

As comfortable as the entire situation was, Kara knew it was only a matter of time before she had to see Lena, and she was dreading the thought, which only made her more uncomfortable as she didn't want to feel uncomfortable at the thought of seeing her girlfriend.

"You're all staring off into space again," Alex said, turning from her movie, their afternoon lunch of pizza skittered all over Kara's coffee table.

"It's nothing, I'm okay."

"She was in fact not okay," Alex said in deep voice, Kara rolling her eyes and laughing out loud, the pair joking at their little inside joke.

"It's fine, it's just… I haven't heard from Lena," Kara said, drifting off.

"Well… you did leave in the middle of the night."

"Do you think she's mad?" Kara asked in a quiet voice, Alex sitting up and shaking her head.

"No Kara, not at all. Worried, yes, and maybe upset you haven't reached out either, but no… not mad."

"I don't even know what to say."

"You don't have to know what to say though. You don't always have to have a perfect explanation for what you're thinking and feeling. Most people don't know what they're thinking and feeling half the time anyway."

"It's embarrassing, Alex. How do I even begin that conversation? 'Hey, sorry I had a panic attack after sex while I was still on top of you?' Rao… I just…"

Kara teared up a little, never having felt such embarrassment and humiliation before. People always made jokes about others crying during sex, but now she was that joke… and she felt like a joke too.

"Kara… Lena loves you, you know? You don't have anything to feel ashamed of."

"Lena is literally one of the most beautiful, smart, powerful and well to-do people in this city, this country, hell even this world! She could have any woman she wanted, or man if she desired… I just… she's been so patient, and I…"

Kara took a deep breath. After her epiphanies regarding her sexuality and relationships with other people, Kara had begun wondering at that time if she would ever be enough for somebody. She wished things didn't have to be so difficult, that everything came naturally to her like it seemed to for other people.

"She shouldn't have to have a partner whose so much work… especially when it comes to sex. This is supposed to be the fun part, Alex… and I'm just making it difficult."

"Kara…" Alex drifted off in concern, moving closer to her sister.

"Sex is sex, but… when you're in love with somebody, that's not the most important part of the relationship. You're more than a sexual object, you know…" Alex drifted off, and her mind thought back to Mon-el and every other man who could have ever made her sister feel differently.

"I know, and I know Lena doesn't… I know she doesn't think that way. She just shouldn't have to struggle so much. She shouldn't have to have to worry about this. She has enough to worry about."

"Isn't that for her to decide though?" Alex asked with a gentle smile, tilting her sister's face back towards her.

"Look, I don't know… I don't know everything going on with you and your experience, and I won't pretend they're similar, but even us boring non-ace people have some struggles kind of like this. I was nervous to be with Maggie my first time too. I had no clue what I was doing, I had never been with a woman before and she's a gold star lesbian. It was nerve-wracking and intimidating. I didn't want to mess it up for her either."

"I just want to be enough for her," Kara said softly, Alex squeezing her closely.

"And you are. And she'll even tell you you're more than enough. But like Maggie told me, everything comes in time and as un-sexy as it is to say, it takes practice too. People aren't born being good in bed… or whatever."

Kara and Alex looked at each other, and both burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter at the conversation.

"I can't believe we're talking about this," Kara said, burying her face in her hands, Alex rubbing her head fondly.

"Yea, it's weird, but it could be worse. I could have sent Jo'on to talk about this with you," Alex replied, the pair practically crying at the hilarity of it all.

"O-Oh my god! Alex! Don't even joke!" Kara said between cackles, both bent over on the couch clutching their stomachs.

"Christ, can you even imagine? Hey Jo'on, Kara needs a sex talk. Hahahah!"

They couldn't control themselves, their laughter the untamable kind where they couldn't even make sound. A knock at the door caught them still trying to catch their breath. Alex jumped up and moved to the door, still chuckling to herself, finding Lena on the other side with a small Krypto tucked neatly against her.

"Well, this is definitely a good sign," Lena said as Alex let her in, Kara settling down and smiling at Lena fondly, the brunette releasing Krypto onto the floor who bolted after his Kryptonian owner.

"Do I want to know what the two of you have been up to?" Lena asked as she walked in with Alex, both watching Kara and her dog wrestling on the couch.

"Oh you know, just thinking of Jo'on giving Kara a sex talk," Alex replied, which started her laughing all over again, Lena's eyes going wide with a huge grin on her face.

"Now that I would pay to see," she replied, placing her purse down and moving to the couch, Kara sitting up with Krypto on her lap.

"We'll have to concoct a plan, because this would be too good an opportunity to pass up. But speaking of Jo'on, I should check in at the DEO, Kara," Alex said, moving around and gathering her things, Kara nodding.

"Sounds good," she replied, smiling to Lena softly, the brunette very relaxed and at ease.

"I'll see you both later. Take care of her Luthor," Alex said, Lena rolling her eyes, deciding to let her innuendo of a retort slide for the moment.

"She's in safe hands, Agent Danvers," she playfully replied with a glare, Alex waving her off.

"Yea, yea. Game night next week. Be prepared," was all Alex said before skipping out and shutting the door behind her, leaving Kara and Lena alone.

Krypto playfully wagged his tail as he bounced in between Kara and Lena on the couch, the brunette scratching him fondly.

"How was he?" Kara asked softly, the pair gazing at each other.

"Aside from the occasional floating, he was a gem. He's got so much energy though, my god," Lena said with a chuckle.

"Well he _is_ a puppy Lena."

"So does that make you one too?" Lena asked with a teasing grin, Kara chuckling and shaking her head.

"You and Maggie with this puppy comparison," Kara said fondly, Lena chuckling now.

"It's definitely a compliment," Lena replied, Kara smiling at her.

"Thanks for bringing him over, and for coming here."

"Of course. And I wanted to check in, see how you were."

"I'm sorry for not reaching out, and for just leaving-"

Lena waved her off.

"It's okay Kara. I understand you need to do what you need to do, however… I did want to bring it up too."

"You're mad at me," Kara stated, rather than asked, Lena shaking her head gently.

"Not mad. Never mad. But I do want to understand."

"You mean about… the panic attack?"

"No, no… not the panic attack, but of course I want you to share what you want to about concerning that. It's more… I want to understand… how to help you feel safe… with me."

"Safe…. With you?" Kara repeated confusedly.

Lena released a breath, ditching her heels and bringing her legs under her, looking at Kara.

"Yea… when you left the other night, I understand Alex is your family and your sister. She's been your person forever. At first, I was hurt that you left and came back here. I took it personally, and I know I shouldn't have. I had a moment. But I spoke to Alex briefly, and I'm just worried that you don't feel comfortable around me… like you don't think I can take care of you when you need taking care of."

Kara's mouth dropped, along with her face, quickly shaking her head and hands.

"No, no, Lena, Rao no…" she began, sitting up and adjusting herself.

It was like a light went off in Kara's head from Lena's words.

"Wow, Lena, I…"

"Does that make sense?" Lena asked, Kara nodding and smiling.

"This just… Rao, we're really two numbskulls, aren't we?" Kara replied with a chuckle, Lena's brow furrowing in amusement.

"Care to elaborate Supergirl?"

"I just… I've been so embarrassed about everything. Alex and I were talking about this before you came over, and like I told her… I don't want to be a burden to you, especially about sex… stuff. This is supposed to be fun and easy, and I just feel like I'm making everything difficult."

Lena's eyed widened and her smile disappeared. She moved Krypto to the floor, the dog scampering off to destroy something else as she scooted right up next to Kara pulling her into a hug.

"Kara… you have to know this. You are never, EVER, a burden to me. Not in the slightest."

"I feel like I've burdened you enough… you have enough on your plate, you've been through so much. Shouldn't this be the easy part?" Kara mumbled into Lena's shoulder.

"Anything worth having takes work. Kara, nothing about the other night upset me, except maybe you being upset. But… even if you think what happened was burdensome, I didn't think of it that way," Lena replied, pulling back and cupping Kara's cheeks.

"I was just worried and wanted you to be okay love," Lena said with a small smile.

Kara took the initiative and leaned in to kiss Lena soundly, the brunette allowing her and reciprocating the gesture. They kissed softly for several moments before Kara pulled back to gaze into Lena's bright green eyes.

"Lena, I've never… I think I'm starting to realize some of these issues, it's not just about me being demi, but… it's the fact I've never been with someone like this before. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I don't want to overwhelm you with everything I have going on."

"Kara, I'm the person you're _supposed_ to be able to go to. You can come to me for anything and everything. I'll be there."

Kara smiled again, pulling Lena into her and wrapping her arms around her waist, the brunette tossing her arms over Kara's shoulders.

"I've missed you," Kara mumbled in between kisses, feeling Lena smile against her lips.

"I missed you too," she replied, letting Kara lower her down onto the couch.

As the pair spent the rest of the afternoon and evening together, Kara kept smiling to herself when no other panic attacks arose.

FIN

* * *

This was hard and weird to write… sometimes with angst, we make big deals of things, and sometimes they require these really big conversations, like the last chapter did, and other times when you're comfortable and know someone… it's a simple resolution. But anywho… c'est la vie. Hope you all enjoyed, this became something I didn't expect/ predict.

Updates! Let us see: grad school is misery, I got sick on my return trip from Asia, and I am so glad Supergirl is going on hiatus because I haven't even watched it in weeks and now that it's not on, I doubt I'll ever get back into it. I know the rest is Katie centric (and YAY for Katie! happy she has full time/ secure work), but yea… every time I rewatch Supergirl season 1, I'm just reminded of how far away we are from that now. :) anywho.

I'm putting my annoying author notes here … or author rants might be a better phrase… All in all, look, I loved my Supergirl. Even without Katie, the ships, the bullshit, like I miss Cat Grant/ Calista and Lucy and Max so hard. I really do. I find it kind of funny/ ironic that Kara and Mon-el's characters have such forced and awkward chemistry on screen when they are an actual couple in real life… but I guess that illustrates a point on the difference between real life people having chemistry and actors/ their characters having chemistry. Kara is not Melissa, Mon-El is not Chris, they just play them, and it's interesting to see those discrepancies in the real vs televised world… I liked goofy Mon-El who was trying to become something. They could have given him a MUCH better storyline and frankly Kara should have become his mentor not his lover. Kara should have gone from student (like with Cat) to teacher, and I've come to realize the show hasn't just ruined Kara, but I frankly blame their writing too for how Mon-El turned out. They tried to force something toxic when they could have created something healthier. Mon-el has never needed to be perfect, it's okay that he's stumbling and growing, but what's not okay is creating an unlikely pairing that's negative, abusive and toxic. Give Kara her show back. Give Mon-el an actual storyline of redemption and growth (without a fucking romantic interest) and actually make the story complex by featuring ALL of the characters and their growth… okay, I'm sorry, I'll shut up now.

Thanks for reading, commenting, ranting with me, (or ignoring my vocal ass). Until next time.


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